He Started by Asking
“Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.””
— John 4:6-10 (NIV)
The quarrel behind this scene was old, and it was mostly about religion. The northern people worshipped on the mountain above that town; the southern people insisted on Jerusalem. She raises that dispute herself a few lines later. The northern side also accepted only the five books of Moses as scripture and rejected the rest. More than a century before this, southern forces had destroyed their temple on that mountain. So the traveller resting there belonged to the side that had pulled it down. She points out a moment later that the shaft is deep and he carries nothing to lower into it. The phrase he uses, "living water", was ordinary speech for running water from a spring. It was the opposite of what stood still in a household cistern. When his companions came back, what surprised them was that he was talking with a woman at all. His first words to her were a request, not a verdict on her life.
Asking someone for something is harder than making up your mind about them. When you ask, the other person sees straight away that you are short of something. So it is easier to keep your distance and not speak first. Maybe there is someone at work you only ever say good morning to. Maybe a neighbour you know plenty about and have never spoken to. Maybe someone from a different world than yours, older, younger, from somewhere else. Jesus spoke first, and he began with a request rather than with what he knew.
Ask one person for one small thing
- 1Today ask one person from outside your usual circle, someone older or younger or from a different background, for one small thing you actually need: advice, a recipe, five minutes of help.
- 2If you will not meet anyone like that today, send one message to the person you talk to least and ask them for one specific thing.
God, I would rather handle everything myself than ask anyone for anything. I already know which person I should ask today, and I keep finding reasons not to. Help me say it plainly and not dress it up as something else. If the answer is no, let me take it without going cold on them. Thank you that Jesus spoke first, and that he started by asking.
I ask someone outside my usual circle for a small favour today, and I say it plainly.
Why did Jesus ask the Samaritan woman for a drink instead of offering her something first?
As she points out a moment later, the shaft was deep and he had nothing to lower into it, while she had come equipped to draw. Starting from his own need put the two of them on speaking terms before anything else was said.
What were Jews and Samaritans actually arguing about?
Mainly where God should be worshipped. Samaritans worshipped on Mount Gerizim and accepted only the five books of Moses as scripture; Jews worshipped in Jerusalem and accepted the whole Hebrew Bible. Judean forces had destroyed the Samaritan temple on Gerizim more than a century before this scene.
What did the phrase living water mean to someone listening then?
In everyday speech it meant running water from a spring or a stream, as opposed to the still water kept in a cistern or a jar. So the offer first sounded practical, which is exactly why she answers on that level and the conversation keeps going.