He Said No and Went
““What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ “ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.”
— Matthew 21:28-31 (NIV)
Jesus is in the temple courts in Jerusalem, in the last week before his arrest. The day before, he had driven the traders out of that same place. Now the chief priests who ran the temple, and the elders, the leading men of the city, want to know who gave him the right. He puts one question back to them, and they will not answer it. So he hands them a short story and lets them give the verdict, before they learn whose story it was. A vineyard was a household's whole living, and the father is asking for a day in it, not a quick favour. The word translated "sir" was a respectful form of address. A polite yes settled the matter and cost nothing in the moment it was spoken; only the day itself showed the difference. The two groups he ranked above them were people that city had written off, and one of them collected tolls and road duties for the authorities and had a name for cheating. A preacher had already called them to turn their lives around; those people listened, and the men in front of him refused. What counts is not the first answer but whether you went in the end.
When someone asks you for something, yes is the easiest answer, because it ends the conversation and lets nobody down. Sometimes it goes the other way: you say no because you are tired or sore about something, and it nags at you all day. One person refused to help a friend move and still feels bad about it. Another skipped a birthday they had been asked to. A third told her mother on the phone that she had no time today, and hung up faster than she meant to. In Jesus' story the father's will was done by the one who said no first, then changed his mind and went. Your no does not have to be the last word either.
Go back on one no
- 1Think of one no you said recently to coming over: a birthday, a visit, a hand on the spot. Message them today: I have changed my mind, I will come, and name a day this week. If they live too far away, call and stay on the line as long as they want.
- 2If no such no comes to mind, answer every request today in one of two ways only: yes, with a time, or an honest no. Nothing like we will see, or I will try to fit it in.
God, I have said no out of comfort, tiredness or hurt, and I have said yes to things I never did. Show me one no today that I should go back on. Give me the nerve to say: I have changed my mind. I want my words and what I do to mean the same thing. Amen.
I go back on one no, and turn it into something done or a day named.
Who was Jesus talking to when he told this?
The chief priests, who ran the temple, and the elders, the leading men of Jerusalem. The day before he had driven the traders out of the temple, and that morning they came wanting to know who gave him the right to do any of it.
Why was saying yes the easy answer for the second son?
Because it ended the conversation. A yes cost him nothing in the moment it was spoken, and it kept the peace at home. Only the day itself showed that nothing came of it.
What do I do today?
Go back to one no you said recently when you could have helped, tell them you have changed your mind, and do what they asked or name a day. That is the first son's move: no, and then he went.