You Are That Man
“David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan: “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! Because he has done this thing and has shown no pity, he must pay for the lamb four times over.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul.’””
— 2 Samuel 12:5-7 (BSB)
Almost a year had passed since David took his officer Uriah's wife and had Uriah himself exposed to death in battle. Bathsheba's child had just been born, and the matter seemed to have gone quiet. The king was also the highest judge, so Nathan came to him with what looked like an ordinary legal case about a rich man who took a poor man's only lamb. The law did require four sheep for one stolen. A death sentence went further than that, and David pronounced it on himself without knowing. In Hebrew Nathan's answer is only two words. The king had the power to have him killed, as he had done with Uriah. Instead he answered with a sentence that in Hebrew is also two words: I have sinned against the Lord. The truth about yourself hurts most, and forgiveness only begins there.
When you hear about someone who did something rotten, it is easy to pass sentence. It happens at work, in the family, in front of the news. It is much harder when someone close to you says: this is about you. The reflex is ready: you explain, you remind them what they did, you turn it into a joke, or you take offence. The man who heard those words could have silenced the prophet with one order, and he did not. Someone near you may see something you cannot. Give them the chance to say it today.
Ask, and do not defend yourself
- 1Pick someone who knows you and wishes you well, and ask them today: what about me is hardest for you? Listen, and answer only: thank you, I will think about that. No explaining, no reminding them what they do themselves.
- 2If there is nobody to ask, or if such a conversation would be unsafe today, think of the last remark about you that stung. Ask God: how much of it was true?
God, I do not like hearing the truth about myself, and I am quick to defend myself. If someone tells me the truth today, do not let me run from it. Help me accept what is true and reject what is not. Thank you that with you forgiveness comes after the truth. Amen.
I ask someone close to me for an honest remark, and I answer only: thank you.
What is the story with the lamb about?
David took Uriah's wife and had him exposed to death in battle. Nathan told him about a rich man who took a poor man's only lamb. The king, who was also the judge, passed sentence without knowing he was speaking about himself.
Why was Nathan not killed?
The king had the power to do it, but he answered: I have sinned against the Lord. In Hebrew that is only two words too, just like Nathan's answer.
What if someone uses this question to hurt me?
That is why you pick someone who wishes you well. If you have nobody like that today, or the conversation would be unsafe, stay with the question before God about the last remark that stung. Not everything someone says is true.