You Cannot Carry It Alone
“But Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. Surely you and these people with you will wear yourselves out, because the task is too heavy for you. You cannot handle it alone. Now listen to me; I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their causes to Him. Teach them the statutes and laws, and show them the way to live and the work they must do. Furthermore, select capable men from among the people, God-fearing, trustworthy men who are averse to dishonest gain. Appoint them over the people as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. Have these men judge the people at all times. Then they can bring you any major issue, but all minor cases they can judge on their own, so that your load may be lightened as they share it with you. If you follow this advice and God so directs you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people can go home in peace.””
— Exodus 18:17-23 (BSB)
Moses' father-in-law, Jethro, was a priest of Midian, an outsider to Israel. He came to visit soon after the crossing of the sea and spent one day simply watching. The queue ran from morning till dark, with Moses alone settling everything. Asked why, he answered that people were coming to inquire of God, which sounded devout and was hard to argue with. The Hebrew phrase for not good appears earlier in the Bible in God's own words about a man being alone. The chain of command he suggests is one known from the army, so the answer is very practical. Moses kept the toughest matters and the talking with God, and passed on everything else. Soon after, on the way from Sinai, he would complain to God that it was all too much for one man. Not everything good has to pass through your hands.
If everything at home or at work passes through you, sooner or later you stop noticing. You are the only one who knows where things are, who to call, how it should be done. It looks like responsibility, and often it is exhaustion nobody can see because you never give anyone the chance to help. Sometimes it is hard to let go even when someone offers, because they will do it differently. The same goes for what you always sort out in the family, the parish or the building. Sometimes it takes an outsider, someone who has watched for one day, to say it. You are wearing out more than yourself; you are wearing out the people waiting on you.
Hand over the smaller things
- 1Take something you always do yourself that someone else could do: the shopping, the accounts, calling the doctor, locking up at work, organising family get-togethers. Ask someone today to take it over for this week, show them how it works, and do not correct them afterward.
- 2If there is nobody to hand it to, take the thing that is too much for you and ask someone who knows about it, a neighbour, an official, a colleague, how to divide it or who could take it on.
God, I find it easy to believe everything falls apart without me. You know how much I am holding and how much of it I do not need to. Show me one thing I can hand over, and help me really let go of it. Give me patience when someone does it differently. Amen.
I hand over one job today, and I do not correct whoever takes it.
Who was Moses' father-in-law?
Jethro was a priest of Midian, an outsider to Israel. Moses took his advice and put it into practice before Jethro went back to his own country.
Did Moses hand over everything?
No. He kept the conversation with God, the teaching and the hardest cases. He handed over the smaller matters that others could decide themselves.
What if I really have nobody to hand a job to?
Take the thing that is too much for you and ask someone who knows about it how to divide it or who could take it on. Moses too needed an outsider to point this out.