He Wept, Though He Knew
“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you put him?” He asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they answered. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!””
— John 11:33-36 (BSB)
Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, which is why so many people had come out to the sisters. The dead were buried there the same day, and for seven days afterward the house stayed open to visitors. Lazarus had been in the tomb four days when Jesus arrived. Both sisters said the same sentence to him: if you had been here, our brother would not have died. The Greek verb behind deeply moved is much stronger than the English and could describe a horse snorting, so it points to agitation, even indignation, rather than gentle feeling. The word for weeping changes too: the crowd and Mary wail aloud, while the verb used of Jesus means quiet tears. A few lines later he has the stone rolled away and calls Lazarus out. So he knew what was about to happen, and he wept first. The God who has power over death does not skip past your grief.
There are names you still find hard to say. A year goes by, or five, and then a smell, a song or an empty chair closes your throat again. People are quick with the lines: he was old, she is in a better place, time heals. Even when that is true, you do not need to hear it right now. Jesus knew what he was about to do, and he still wept on the way to the tomb. So your sorrow is not a lack of faith. You are allowed to cry at a grave, even after many years.
Stay at the grave without hurrying
- 1Go to the grave of someone close to you today and stay longer than you usually do, even just ten minutes, without tidying. Say their name out loud and one thing you miss. If tears come, do not cut them off.
- 2If the grave is far away, put their photo in front of you and do the same. If you have not lost anyone yet, ask someone who is grieving: what were they like? Then just listen.
Lord Jesus, you wept over your friend's death, though you knew what you were about to do. You know the name of the person I miss. I am not asking for it to stop hurting right away. I am asking you to stand here with me. Thank you that death does not have the last word with you. Amen.
I stay longer at the grave today, and I am not ashamed of the tears.
Why did Jesus weep if he was about to raise Lazarus?
The text gives no reason, but it shows the order: tears first, then the stone and the call from the tomb. Knowing what was coming did not take away his sorrow over what was in front of him.
What does deeply moved mean here?
The Greek verb is stronger than the English and could describe a horse snorting. It points to agitation, perhaps at death itself, rather than gentle feeling.
What if I cannot get to a grave today?
Put their photo in front of you, say their name out loud and one thing you miss. If you have not lost anyone, ask someone who is grieving what the person was like, and simply listen.