But It Is You
“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.”
— Psalm 55:12-14 (NIV)
Psalm 55 as a whole is a prayer to God. In these three verses a man speaks of being hurt by someone close to him. He puts two cases side by side. If an enemy were insulting him, he could bear it. If someone who hated him rose against him, he could hide. But it was a man like himself, his companion and close friend. In the middle of the prayer, he turns and speaks to that man directly: "But it is you." He remembers the friendship they shared and how they walked together to the house of God. Here he does not complain about people in general. He points to one particular man and recalls what they shared.
When a stranger hurts you, you can stay out of his way. When it is one of your own, you still see them at home or at work. Maybe a friend passed on something you told him in confidence. Maybe your brother or your mother-in-law laughed at you in front of the whole family. It is easy to pray in general terms, "bless my family," and step around what happened. With God you don't need careful words. You can say straight out, "But you," and add the name.
Tell God First
- 1Today, before you tell anyone what that person did, or before you reply to them, write one sentence the way the psalm does: start with "But you," add their name, what they did, and what you had shared. Read it out loud to God, and do not send it to them. Only then reply, or tell someone if you need to.
- 2If that person gets in touch today, or you start drafting a reply in your head, first say your "But you" to God silently.
God, someone close to me hurt me. You know who it is and what they did. I am telling You plainly that it hurt, because we shared so much. Before I tell anyone else, I want to tell You. Stay near me when I see them again. Amen.
Before I tell anyone about this hurt, I will name it before God.
Why does he say an enemy would be easier to bear?
He says he could endure an enemy's insults and hide from a foe. This came from a man like himself, a close friend he had shared sweet fellowship with at the house of God.
Is he speaking to God or to his friend?
Psalm 55 as a whole is a prayer to God. In these verses he suddenly turns to the friend with "But it is you," so he says it to that man in God's presence.
What can I do today if someone close has hurt me?
Before you tell anyone about it or reply to that person, tell God plainly, the way the psalm does, who hurt you and what they did. You do not need to send that person anything today.