A Very Small Rudder
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
— James 3:3-6 (NIV)
There is no story here, just three pictures in a row. A small bit in a horse's mouth turns the whole animal. A very small rudder steers a big ship, even in strong winds, wherever the pilot wants it to go. A small spark sets a whole forest on fire. Then the same is said of the tongue: it is a small part of the body, and it is a fire. It corrupts the whole body and sets the whole course of a life on fire. The bit and the rudder are about steering, and the fire is about damage that grows from something small. So one sharp sentence can steer the speaker's own day. And as a small spark sets a forest on fire, that sentence also reaches the person who hears it.
In a tense moment, the first sentence that comes to you is usually the sharpest one. It seems small, because it takes two seconds to say. But it sets the direction for the whole conversation, for the other person's day, and often for yours. Maybe a child can't find a shoe again in the morning rush. Out comes "It's always something with you," and the child carries that sentence to school. You can apologize later, but you cannot unsay it. That is why the moment before you say it matters.
Say a Calm First Sentence
- 1In one tense moment today, with a child, your partner or someone at work, take one breath before you say anything. Then, instead of the sharp sentence, say one short, calm one, like "Let's look together, we have a minute" or "Good to see you, let's sort out the rest after dinner."
God, when I am tense, the first thing I want to say is often sharp. I know those words can stay with someone for the rest of the day. Today, stop me before I say it. Give me a short, calm sentence to say instead. Help me do this at home and at work, even when I am tired.
Today I will take a breath and swap one sharp sentence for a short, calm one.
Is James telling people to be silent?
No. A bit and a rudder are for steering, so the point is where your words take things. A few verses later he adds that no human being can tame the tongue.
Why does James move from the rudder to fire?
The bit and the rudder show something small steering something large. The fire shows damage: a small spark sets a forest on fire, and the tongue corrupts the whole body and sets the course of the speaker's life on fire.
What if the sharp sentence has already been said?
Apologize to the person. You cannot unsay it, but the next sentence is still yours to choose. Take a breath before you say it.